DEAR BUFFY,
I haven't written a letter in a long time. Nine years. I used to write my friends after I left Alaska, when I traveled abroad. I haven't told you everything about where I come from or what I've done since then, which is either for the best or a fault of mine. I don't want to burden you with knowing so I don't talk about myself. I thought I had everything figured out, but I don't. No one ever does. I see myself in you and I want tosavehelp you before you start thinking like I do. I surround myself with people I admire, and I admire you.
You're bright and sweet and strong, stronger than you think. I couldn't let you think because you died you were tainted by something out of your control. That isn't the path you're on. I saw it, back at the manor. I saw parts Gale may not have. I want the best for you, which is one of the reasons why I needed to be nominated and put away. Thinking I could be the reason you or someone you love ends up hurt, I can't be that person again if I can help it. I've put Cellar through enough. I don't want to put you at risk of me, too.
I'm sorry I can't kiss you, or hold you, or taste you. I'll make up for this one way or another. We'll go on a date, like I promised. I want to see your smile againβ the real one.
LOVE, AUGUST.
P.S. I'm glad you and Cellar get along, and I'll be happy to make dinner with the two of you.
Hey, Buffy. [ she sounds a little apprehensive as she speaks, but a little brighter than she's been lately, especially since the last time she'd talked to or seen buffy. ] Mel said we were invited to Thanksgiving, and I wanted to say thank you, but I wondered if it would be okay if our friend Natalie could also come? I know she mentioned you'd said yes about Shauna, but I wasn't sure how the invitations worked. But I know she knows Spike, so I think she'd like to come.
[ she's not sure about that, but she does know she'd like natalie to come. she's been worried. ]
Anyway, let me know. And let me know if there's anything you'd like me to do.
[ she's not sure about that, but she does know she'd like natalie to come. she's been worried. ]
Anyway, let me know. And let me know if there's anything you'd like me to do.
with the assumption she mentioned he was here when she asked if tara could come:
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
maoa
- 2025-11-20 00:49 (UTC) - ExpandHey! You run the new gym, right?
I think it's really cool, what you're doing. I've done a little yoga and pilates but I've never gotten around to self-defense, even though I probably should.
I think it's really cool, what you're doing. I've done a little yoga and pilates but I've never gotten around to self-defense, even though I probably should.
hi hi π that's me! i'm buffy.
thanks!! you know, you should totally join
i'm pretty good at teaching self-defense. and it's like
veeeeeery important, here. even just on a normal day. there's buncha weirdos around these parts, and you can't be too careful.
thanks!! you know, you should totally join
i'm pretty good at teaching self-defense. and it's like
veeeeeery important, here. even just on a normal day. there's buncha weirdos around these parts, and you can't be too careful.
( with how delicate this thread needs to be weaved, he sticks to messaging. angel doesn't, often, only when necessary. and maybe she'll call him in return. either way, keeping his cadence and tone will be easier this way. the plan forms pretty quickly. he remembers the thanksgiving after angel left for los angeles. and what happened after.
and only he remembers that, doesn't he.
thank you, faith! )
Spike? Really?
and only he remembers that, doesn't he.
thank you, faith! )
Spike? Really?
If they truly meant their vehicles to remain unsullied, they shouldn't leave the garage open.
[IMAGE ATTACHMENT]
Their fault.
[IMAGE ATTACHMENT]
Their fault.
[ In a small, poorly-wrapped box, thereβs a dark blue velvet jewelry bag containing an antiqued silver cross necklace with two drop pearls. ]
Sizzled a little getting this in the box. Hope you like it.
Thanks for sticking with me, Slayer.
X Spike
Sizzled a little getting this in the box. Hope you like it.
Thanks for sticking with me, Slayer.
X Spike
[ On Christmas morning, a box sits outside of Buffy's door, wrapped neatly in shiny gold paper. Peeling it away reveals:
β a pink bow-print workout set,Pressed between the gifts is a simple piece of off-white card stock, upon which has been written: ]
β a pink velvet scrunchie, and
β a bottle of raspberry perfume.
Buffy,
Thanks for always being so sweet.
Life's brighter with you in it.
Merry Christmas,
Amy
[ A small, sealed letter tucked into an inner pocket of Spikeβs leather duster, addressed toβ ]
Buffy,
Iβm writing this watching you sleep next to me for the first time, snow falling soft outside the window. If youβre reading this, it means Iβm gone. (If Iβm not gone, youβd best return my coat, then come find me and smack me around and kiss me about it.)
I love you. Know Iβve said it a thousand times, but Iβve meant every one of them. I know you canβt always figure out why, but itβs obvious, to me. I love you because youβre brave and clever and funny and the only Slayer who figured out you need love to win it. You know how much love matters. Hold mine inside you when you feel lost.
Gone back to Sunnyhell to keep an eye on Dawn and make sure your Scoobs arenβt being idiots, I reckon. Donβt worry about me or them.
Jacketβs yours. Whatever you want in the cryptβs yours. (Whole cryptβs yours, if you want it. Leave some pizza crust out for the kittens.) Give Koby my book of shit poems from the summer, give Nat my pencil liner. Kick Armandβs face in for me.
Iβll see you soon, love.
Yours (always),
Spike
[ And on a second sheet of paper, a type-written copy of Again and Again by Rainer Maria Rilke: ]
Again and again, however we know the landscape of love
and the little churchyard there, with its sorrowing names,
and the frighteningly silent abyss into which the others
fall: again and again the two of us walk out together
under the ancient trees, lie down again and again
among the flowers, face to face with the sky.
Buffy,
Iβm writing this watching you sleep next to me for the first time, snow falling soft outside the window. If youβre reading this, it means Iβm gone. (If Iβm not gone, youβd best return my coat, then come find me and smack me around and kiss me about it.)
I love you. Know Iβve said it a thousand times, but Iβve meant every one of them. I know you canβt always figure out why, but itβs obvious, to me. I love you because youβre brave and clever and funny and the only Slayer who figured out you need love to win it. You know how much love matters. Hold mine inside you when you feel lost.
Gone back to Sunnyhell to keep an eye on Dawn and make sure your Scoobs arenβt being idiots, I reckon. Donβt worry about me or them.
Jacketβs yours. Whatever you want in the cryptβs yours. (Whole cryptβs yours, if you want it. Leave some pizza crust out for the kittens.) Give Koby my book of shit poems from the summer, give Nat my pencil liner. Kick Armandβs face in for me.
Iβll see you soon, love.
Yours (always),
Spike
[ And on a second sheet of paper, a type-written copy of Again and Again by Rainer Maria Rilke: ]
Again and again, however we know the landscape of love
and the little churchyard there, with its sorrowing names,
and the frighteningly silent abyss into which the others
fall: again and again the two of us walk out together
under the ancient trees, lie down again and again
among the flowers, face to face with the sky.
Edited 2026-01-02 19:51 (UTC)
buffy, i'm sorry about spike.
[he knows how it feels to have someone so cherished disappear. it feels like they drop like flies, life fizzing out of saltburnt and leaving their beloved items and relationships behind.]
you don't have to be alone.
i'll stay with you as much as you want, alright?
[he knows how it feels to have someone so cherished disappear. it feels like they drop like flies, life fizzing out of saltburnt and leaving their beloved items and relationships behind.]
you don't have to be alone.
i'll stay with you as much as you want, alright?
Edited (when i stop editing tags u kno something is wrong) 2026-01-05 18:47 (UTC)
thanks, gus
( her instinctual drive is to pretend like she isn't upset, still β buffy coping mechanisms, and other ways of dealing with inevitable departures, be it stake, cancer, or the whims of the universe. so what, if they were finally in a kind of good spot. so what if she changed her behaviors just for him to leave. it's a good reminder not to change, maybe βΒ things almost never swing her way.
except for august, obviously. a good guy. not just anyone would say they're sorry spike left βΒ particularly when spike was such a brat to them. )
you wanna hang out today?
i'm not moping, i'm redecorating! the gym needed new paint. one of the walls wasn't pink.
( her instinctual drive is to pretend like she isn't upset, still β buffy coping mechanisms, and other ways of dealing with inevitable departures, be it stake, cancer, or the whims of the universe. so what, if they were finally in a kind of good spot. so what if she changed her behaviors just for him to leave. it's a good reminder not to change, maybe βΒ things almost never swing her way.
except for august, obviously. a good guy. not just anyone would say they're sorry spike left βΒ particularly when spike was such a brat to them. )
you wanna hang out today?
i'm not moping, i'm redecorating! the gym needed new paint. one of the walls wasn't pink.
Edited 2026-01-05 19:27 (UTC)
( Sent from "Angel's" number, a creepy video - how modern - of Ani Mikheeva entering her gym and calling out her name. He turns the camera toward himself, eyebrows climbing, lips pressed together. What do you think he should do? What's she doing there? All alone! And then the video cuts to black. )
( β ?!
not even bothering to be cute about it, buffy gears up, almost mechanical about it, like it's par for course. all the training is good for something β she can shut down panic mode, quiet her anxiety, and embody the slayer. when she calls it's stern, abrupt, and to the point, )
If you touch a hair on her head they aren't going to find all the pieces I make of you. I will fucking kill you, Angel.
not even bothering to be cute about it, buffy gears up, almost mechanical about it, like it's par for course. all the training is good for something β she can shut down panic mode, quiet her anxiety, and embody the slayer. when she calls it's stern, abrupt, and to the point, )
If you touch a hair on her head they aren't going to find all the pieces I make of you. I will fucking kill you, Angel.
( not even a question of faith's help, which honestly βΒ buffy is a little surprised to find, she already expected. )
him
i have these restraints that i think will work for angelus. i mean. we could just kill him, but what is that going to do, really?
( we could just kill him. but βΒ would you really, buffy? because it was so simple the first time. )
him
i have these restraints that i think will work for angelus. i mean. we could just kill him, but what is that going to do, really?
( we could just kill him. but βΒ would you really, buffy? because it was so simple the first time. )
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