slay ya later groupchat.

[bronze]

SLAY YA LATER YOU'VE BEEN ADDED TO THE CHAT: 🌺 TRAINERS Buffy, Giles, Ani, Wei Wuxian, Embry, Homelander, Kate, Shanks, Jake, Elias, Cellar, Shadowheart, Yelena, Hawk, Max, Dean, Kovacs, Scott, Chris. 🌸 TRAINEES   Jem, Sam, Roza, Amy, Tim, Greer, Koby, Isolde, OA, Saber, Wally, Gwen.

Comments

@ 🦋

[haggle]

🚨 ATTN: GYM HOTTIES, BENCH BROS, AND SWOLEMATES🚨

it's our buffy's bday 🫶 say happy birthday, bitches
we're going all in for her lil bday bash tonight
theme's PROM NIGHT for you losers who didn't get laid at yours
& for a princess who deserves the crown for her special night 💖

dress code: suits, sparkles, sequins
cuz nothing comes off faster than a prom dress

GIFTS NON-OPTIONAL. PUT OUT OR GET PUT OUT
cya for dancing & drinks 💕

@buck120

[maoa]

🫡🫡🫡
i’ll take care of refreshments
could probably use a sous chef if anyone wants to help and/or needs a distraction

@alphabet_soup

[scathe]

Hbd 👍

[says dude who took that literally and won't be attending.]

not here but also here.

[haggle]

( noted on the BRO IS GIVING BROKE ENERGY reference list. )

@HONEYSUCKLE

[knelt]

happy birthday buffy! 💝
does the invite include a plus one?

( or. plus two ... )

[not here but very here]

[scathe]

[clocking that.]

not here.

[hymen]

[ must mark come? ]

[haggle]

sure
figured you came with the entourage anyway

( see: tristan thomas hovering around the slip like he's taken over the functions of isolde's white blood cells. completely rewrites the medical definition of living inside someone's asshole. )

@WIFI

[laozu]

Happy Birthday, bitches!! Is there a color scheme for the night?
Please tell me it's baby pink!

@koby

[kobes]

It's her birthday?

[crash-out canceled, a beautiful girl is sad on her birthday!!!!!]

Can you give me like two hours so I can reread every book about prom and then I'll know how to decorate right?

@LITTLEPRINCE

[hymen]

You need streamers to cover the ceiling. And a balloon arch. If you really want to be accurate, you should get a pair of thrones and dump three bottles of vodka into the punchbowl.
Do you want some help?

[kobes]

[requisite pause, equivalent to the neighbor's chihuahua who you've definitely pet in the past with no problems trying to decide if they want to be petted or lose their shit barking and biting your ankles.

but: buffy remains the priority, therefore:] We'll only need the one throne, for Buffy.

How tall are you? [streamer-hanging height? balloon-arch-making height? because koby is point-and-boss-around height and he needs to outsource.]

[cholesterol]

Tall or not, streamers require ladders. And tape of some kind.

Not that I ever would've been caught dead decorating for prom.

But, for Buffy, I'll help.

[hymen]

You can just say you're short. And that no one wanted to go to prom with you.

Great. Ash and Greer will help too, since none of us are socially awkward losers who didn't get laid on prom night.

[ lying out of his ass about being the only non-virgin in the polycule when they met. ]

[cholesterol]

I didn't stay in school long enough at a time to go to prom. But, go ahead with that narrative. I got plenty during proms, that's for sure.

I'm going to ignore all that because I'm in for Buffy.

[hymen]

[ am i the asshole, etc. ]

They didn't have prom in hunting school or whatever it is you said you do?

[cholesterol]

We were in and out of schools because of whatever job dad lined up. Or, if he decided to leave us there for a few months. Sam's the one that got all his credits, graduated, and ran off to Stanford.

[hymen]

I think I prefer my dad being dead to that. Is Sam your boyfriend?

[cholesterol]

( )

My brother

[kobes]

Is it that big of a deal? The books were a little grim. A lot of blood.

Do you have a ladder and tape?

[cholesterol]

Damn it. I should've shoved you toward Disney.

We can get a ladder and tape.

[kobes]

I know DISNEY, I've seen Finding Nemo.

[what other disney is there, really.]

Okay, yes, if you get a ladder and tape, you can help.
Are you bringing someone?

[NOSY.]

[cholesterol]

DISNEY did Cinderella, too.

Embry already roped in the president and the first lady? We need like a committee now?

[kobes]

Well, good for Disney. I didn't re-read Cinderella, I read "Carrie".

I meant as a DATE, Dean.

not here.

[haggle]

( one throne? am i a joke to you? )